I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
