sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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