i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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