You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
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He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
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Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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