Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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