remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
