we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
