Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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