So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
