i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
