I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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