Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
