I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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