i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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