you win again, gameday.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
