he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize