We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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