just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
