i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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