did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have fence marks all over my body
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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