Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
