will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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