our cab driver is having phone sex.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
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