The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
