Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
