Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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