Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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