just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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