Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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