you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
