It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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