Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
