i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
