I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
