I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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