He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
