I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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