i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
