looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
