I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
