Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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