Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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