1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
