508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
