i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
