lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
