I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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