me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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