and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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