I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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