He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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