pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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