Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
