Dual....:-)
I CAN MOONWALK!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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