The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
