They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
did i just pee glitter
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
