Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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