So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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