So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
