Farmville is her only friend.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think people are normalizing furries
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
