you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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