Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You are a booty call, not a friend.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
